member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
