I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
