Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You may now shotgun with the bride
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize