Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
