They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
