we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
