that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
