Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
