I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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