I'm lost and stupid without you.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
My penis needs a shock collar
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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