Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
