U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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