Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
i've created a new STD.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
