is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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