I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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