is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize