So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
