It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
