Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
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