the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
