I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
