Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
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