it wasn't lemon gatorade
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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