just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
