watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
