Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
