i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm just crazy horny about you
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
