Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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