I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
