the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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