so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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