i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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