She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
