I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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