wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
