Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
