I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
