Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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