The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
