She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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