Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
