I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
