Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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