you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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