I need help removing her.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
