Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I lost the right to judge tonight
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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