Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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