May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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