Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
