OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
