So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
