ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
