all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
