Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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