matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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