this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
