he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
