like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize