I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
