carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Randomize