it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize
