just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Life is so much better after having sex.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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